On Death and Pain...

I just had to euthanize our 17 year old cat, Mara.  She has been in kidney failure for about 3-4 years. 

She had been doing real well. In Sept of 2018 she was in remission.  But all of a sudden, I noticed she

was a lot pickier with food, and eating less in general.  And then just after Christmas, I saw that she

was going downhill quickly.   I treid better food and she seemed to perk up a little.  But no, what I

suspected from the start, finally happened.   She's gone.

The pain is very real and very physical for me.  It's sharp and swift, stabbing me in my chest and

heart area.  It literally takes my breath away.  I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I did the

right thing.  I did not want my beloved kitty to suffer.  She gave us the best years of her life.  It's just

that I miss her tremendously.  The way her black tail would wave back and forth like a dog's tail. 

Her very seldom heard but very loud meow.  The way she would jump up on the bed and snuggle

with us under the covers.   She would come up on the computer desk and lay in front of my husband,

just hanging out with him for hours.   I really miss that, and all of her winning ways.   It's only been 2

days, and I am devastated. I thank God for her, and the cats we still have.  Even though they are

animals, they are no less friends and family.

I know the fresh memory of letting her go will eventually fade.  And I will be able to see her in my

mind without pain.  It's just really hard at the moment.

Thank you, my beloved Mara, for loving us so completely.   I will never forget your beautiful self.

Love,
Mom