Beginning Meditation

Body awareness

Started meditation today. Began to really feel my body.  Holy crap, my body is so sad.  I have been ignoring my body for my whole life.  Mostly.  I mean, there were times on acid that I really felt alive and completely in my body.  It’s no wonder acid was my drug of choice.  I felt completely loved by myself within myself, a very unusual state for me, and a very rare one.
Today, I was completely striaght.  No Marijuana, nothing.  Just me.
My body is the holder of all the horrible things that have happened to me, or that I have done in my life. I used to run from these emotions, but today they just felt natural. And there is no way I want or intend to run from them.  I am really actually excited to start this journey, painful as it  might be.
I am about 2 weeks away from being 64.  It would be very nice to be able to wake up and not dread another day.  To wake up and feel excited, like when I was a child and it was the beginning of summer vacation.  In short, to really enjoy life itself.
I think this will start to happen, as I meditate each day and continue the process of letting go.  What an awesome gift to have been given.  I thank my friend online that just popped up and before you know it, told me about this process and how liberated he is now.

I will hopefully be writing every day, so I’m hoping others will check this out.

Sincerely,
slowly emerging Patricia