Second day of meditation series. Even though it’s only day 2, a subtle shift is happening already.
I now catch myself looking at my surroundings, really looking. I used to look without seeing.
That’s changing.
I have huge anger issues. Today I was walking and needed to cross the street. I got mad because a car came along and I had to wait. I forgot to mention it was raining and I had no umbrella. So I cussed the car out. Immediately I was like, wow, what a waste of energy. I was also reminded that I had just thrown a handful of negative energy into the collective environment.
It’s the everyday moments like that, that matter in the overall picture. I begin to see that after years of little moments like this we all of a sudden look again and see OMG where did that reservoir of anger come from?
Why do I always feel like there is a huge ball of molten lava in my chest? Because of moments like these. Especially if you never find a way to release them.
So little moments are starting to change things for me. I used to fear change tremendously. I now see that change can actually free me from things I hate to begin with, much less enjoy doing. Hallelujah, I can stop being my mother and father thru behavior, and let them rest in peace.
Do not be afraid, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Patricia
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